Becca and I have a bad habit.
When we’re out with friends and we have Ellie with us, we tend to say the following words to her when she’s being a handful:
“Oh Ellie, I really don’t like you right now!“
Obviously it’s a joke (she’s doing nothing more than being a 1 and change year old), so please don’t condemn me, my ‘words of life, words are powerful, you’re tearing down your child’ friends.
But still it’s not cool. Chalk it up to our own experiences, our sometimes ‘lack of maturity’…whatever. Sometimes we blow it. I’m thankful that the friends that we say it in front of are learning too, are non-condemning and know that we’re either just kidding or seriously at our wits end. Still, it’s not the coolest thing…
‘Why am I rambling?’, you’re asking…
Today, we found out that a couple in our fellowship (a.k.a. denomination) lost their 2nd twin in less than two weeks. Long story short, there were complications that caused the mom to go into labour and deliver both kids early and neither child made it. I don’t know the couple well (which destroys the idea of fellowship, doesn’t it? That needs to change…) but my heart broke at the news and still breaks for them as parents (which is what they are).
It put my role as a parent in perspective for Becca and I in regards to how we speak about our daughter. She is our world and we are thankful for her, even on her bad days and we need to constantly remind ourselves of that, especially on her bad days. That doesn’t mean there aren’t going to be days where we ‘don’t enjoy her company‘ and days where we may talk about that (in mature and immature ways). Yet we need to, at the end of the day, be thankful for who we’ve been given and allowed to teach, love and grow with God’s help. The challenge is to respond to her out of selflessness and not selfishness, which often puts our need for quiet over her crying for attention, our need of 8 hours of sleep over her restlessness and our desire for cleanliness over her…lack of ‘spacial decorum’. I love her. Becca loves her. She is us and for that, we are blessed. Selflessness, even towards someone you’d die for, is still a daily choice.
And for my family, I am working hard to choose it.
P.S. And let me add this: I’m not trying to make their loss about me. I hate when people who do that. That’s the definition of selfish. Yes I said hate. Enemies of Chase are people like that and complainers (urgh). Without giving names, please pray for this family, that they’d find strength, comfort, hope and peace in the arms of Jesus. That’d they know his abounding love and continual healing…I know that your prayers will make a difference in their lives.