Anger-tweets, Annoyance, No Smiles & More…(Off-Days)

You know you’ve had one…

Something isn’t…right. Your timing is off, your rhythm is one beat behind, you’re slow on the uptake. Off.

If you’re normally thoughtful, you’re brash and too quick. If you’re funny, well…you’re just not. If you’re normally warm, you’re distant. Off.

My off-days consist of short answers, distant eyes (the kind that look over the shoulder while talking), not a lot of laughing and not a lot of patience. Becca gets it the worst because she gets it first (first person to see me in the AM, when I’m at my worst) so kudos to her for setting me straight when it’s really unbearable. I become very on-my-own with a book, a coffee and my phone and that’s about it. Just the other night, I said something to someone I know (or not enough, I suppose) and Becca, who was there with me, turned to me quietly and said, “That was mean”. And I knew she was right. Off.

So I’ve made a list of things I won’t do when I have an off-day because of lack of full judgement:

  • Twitter my frustrations: If someone has annoyed me, especially on this type of day, I’ve had the tendency to tweet a veiled remark toward the twitter-verse, aimed at them. Well that’s super immature and unprofessional. So I stay off twitter and blogs. Casual observations about random things, I’ll let slide (like being in traffic, people in a Starbucks, etc.). But if it’s personal, I leave it. And if I see something veiled towards me, I fight every human instinct and I leave it. But let me say this to all of us: If you’re annoyed/frustrated/mad with anyone, don’t blast them on twitter. It looks worse on you than on them. Do right. Call them. Make it right. Then offer sacrifices. Most things we get mad about are simple misunderstandings but putting it on twitter/Facebook/blogs makes it bigger and permanent. I think it was in The Social Network where it was said: The internet is written in ink. Along with that, even with emoticons, sarcasm doesn’t translate and 90% of convos are nonverbal. So, let’s think before we tweet:)
  • Make excuses: Some people use the line, “I was having an off-day so it’s okay” like it’s a Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card. I know myself enough now to know when I’m off so if I am confronted on something I did/said/chose, I simply say sorry and give the person the right of way.
  • Take it out on my family: Becca and Ellie deserve the best. If it’s been a really hard day, I’ll excuse myself and ask to take a 15 min nap. Then I try to give it my 100% until bedtime. It doesn’t always work but I try.
  • Leave it: If it’s an off day and I know it, I try to work through it. I try to smile, to be kind, to let the Spirit work in me and let Him work out what needs dat working. Is it an act? Nope. At least not to me. I’m not trying to be something I’m NOT, I’m rather aiming to be someone I SHOULD be.
  • Not be accountable: I have a small, close network of friends with whom I can say, “I’m off, keep your eyes open for me.” And they do, with loving, brutal honesty. We all need this. This may sound rude but I simply won’t let just anyone say anything INTO me. That type of relationship is earned and tested through fire. If you don’t have that network, build one over time with prayer, relationship and open eyes.
  • Not Smile: If I’m not smiling, I naturally look like I’m really angry or annoyed (I didn’t believe it until my students would point it out. Shout outs to Shiyomi and Jenna among others for that, um…revelation, lol). So I try to smile a lot. Sometimes I just don’t. I think the cashiers at Chapters think I hate them. I don’t. I just hate being asked for a bag all the time:)
  • Choose Wrongly: I don’t have to stay in a funk. I can choose to be better.

So that’s me and how I deal with MY off days. It’s still and I’m still a work in progress so there’s some days where I live these things out to a T. And then there are other days where I simply don’t. But thankfully, until I get called home, today is another day to allow God to work on me, to make me more like His Son. So an Off-Day is a chance to be turned ON on the next one.

Pardon the pun.

How do you deal with your off days? Let’s chat!

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4 thoughts on “Anger-tweets, Annoyance, No Smiles & More…(Off-Days)

  1. Great insights Chris,
    Wow, it was only a day b4 your blog that I learned a valuable lesson about frustration tweets/status’s. I really believed I was doing a good thing, by sharing with everyone how I respond to the ways my husband frustrates me. So here I am, posting for all the world to see, that my husband was not helping out enough. Then I proceeded to try to make it good by saying “when he wakes up, I will offer him food and show him love” (despite my frustration). After posting my status, I didn’t feel the satisfaction I thought I would feel by ‘sharing’. In fact, I felt bad. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, and said “honour your husband”. And shortly after that, a Christian friend messaged me with the same convictions of the Spirit. Amen. Now I know and so I grow.
    You see, I wanted to make my status sound good, and share with others how to act when frustrated…but because I wrote my status out of frustration, and not out of love…all I did was dishonor my husband, and make a fool out of me.

    • It’s funny. We honestly think we’re doing a good thing when we type it, even send it. But it doesn’t help. I’ve stopped cold turkey because once it’s out there, it’s out there. We all need 1-3 people MAX to open up to and leave the world of social networking and media to simply networking and media. You didn’t make a fool, you made a mistake and came away a little wiser. Perspective changes everything.

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