Things Everyone Should Think And Do. Yes, that means YOU too!

Hey friend,

Here’s more things that have been clogging my brain lately. Hope it causes you to laugh, think, get mad, question my sanity and whatever else. To have an idea of what I’m doing and how I’m writing, check out last week’s post. Please note: For the next 4 weeks, I won’t be responding to comments found here so don’t be offended if you don’t hear back from me. I will do so in four weeks

This is also the last week that I will be promoting this blog on Twitter or Facebook. So to be updated, subscribing might be a good idea.

* Footnotes are still a problem (I don’t know how to work code, so please have patience. I might also move to Tumblr (easier footnote interface) so please weight in and let me know what you think!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Note to self: Becca’s feet are always cold and she will always put her feet on yours at night. Be smart. Wear socks. She hates the feeling of socks. Ha ha…you win, Chase.

Whoever said two kids are easier than one deserves a swift kid to the midsection. Then wet willied.[1]

I need to keep my video camera fully charged…I sense a TRIPLE rainbow coming.

Kanye was right. Bey’s video was better. He should have just tweeted it. [2]

Laziness promotes your dumbest decisions. Stay up and alert.

Annoying pet peeve: Soccer moms who use the word “swag”. [3]

Note to self: No matter what anyone says, you look good in skinny red jeans.[4]

There was a time in the history of mankind…when the Black Eyed Peas were a credible musical group. That was never the case for Nickelback. Ever.

Things that the church don’t speak about in public, get struggled with in private and then get blown up in public. Something to be learned here…

This may sound mean but: Sometimes my daughter smells. I love her but it’s true. It’s not all the time…more like 8% to 15% of the time. But I’ll cuddle with her anyhow, smells and all.

Speaking of smells: When Liam poops it smells like old Kraft macaroni and cheese. That’s a bad sign for Kraft if that’s the comparison I have.

We have Big Poppa and Lil’ Wayne. We need a M.I.D. (Mad Issues Dude) Uncle Frank. Any takers?[5]

If you haven’t seen the video of the pastor calling a little kid a midget, you haven’t truly laughed. At all. In life.[6]

If you don’t like waffles, we can never be friends. Period.

If God be for us, who can be against us. I love that the answer is no one.

It’s never too late to return something at a store. Just keep your receipt, go into the store and start crying. The louder you get, the quicker the return/exchange.

Christian or not: If you hear the instrumental or song “Jump Around”, you go nuts.


[1] For some people it is…good for you. Want a medal?!
[2] And it would have been the best tweet of all time…of ALL time. I wish we still had College Dropout Kanye…
[3] Sit around a Chapters in a day and you’ll hear it 10 times before they all get in their Volvo SUVs.
[4] It’s your last attempt at being young. After that, it’s Cosby sweaters.
[5] Other rap names: Short Felix, Tall Dezrin, Dwarf Freddy.
[6] Wait till you hear the sigh at the end. Oh man!!

More Thoughts, Deeper Musings, Dumber Ideas…

Hey friend,

Here’s more things that have been clogging my brain lately. Hope it causes you to laugh, think, get mad, question my sanity and whatever else. To have an idea of what I’m doing and how I’m writing, check out last week’s post. Please note: For the next 4 weeks, I won’t be responding to comments found here so don’t be offended if you don’t hear back from me. I will do so in four weeks.

Here’s a glimpse of what my brain chugs out, along with FOOTNOTES* (I am so excited about footnotes) to explain a bit more of where I am coming from. I’ve written out a bunch and will post a new one every week or so. Some are smart, snappy and yes spiritual in word form. Others are random but no less spiritual. Read on if you like…

…also, after next week’s post, I will no longer be promoting this blog on Twitter or Facebook. So to be updated, subscribing might be a good idea.

* Footnotes are still a problem (I don’t know how to work code, so please have patience. I might also move to Tumblr (easier footnote interface) so please weight in and let me know what you think!

Cheers.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Quoting Anchorman is something everyone appreciates. [1]

After a while, the Dora theme song becomes you and your wife’s “mood” song. Weird but it works.[2]

Question: Why don’t bad guys shoot Batman in the face?

What’s Adele going to sing about when she actually finds someone? Her misery is our musical joy.

Fun word: Candelabra. It’s like a rainbow and a party once it leaves your lips.

If not for the grace and sovereignty of God ________________________. Each day you can fill that line with something else.

No one will think you are weird if you use the actual word “hashtag” in sentences. [3]

If you don’t know who you are, you’ll always be faking something.

The grass that seems greener on the other side will require more work than you know. Not worth the trouble.[4]

That’s not John Mayer’s real singing voice.

My pa-pa-pa-poker face is 2 Kings-2 Aces-7 clubs.

I talking with the man in the mirror…and I’m asking him “Where are my keys?[5]”

More people should be excited about the winter solstice.

People who like Nickelback have issues of hearing.[6]

Because He lives I can also say goodbye to yesterday.

If at first you talk yourself into a hole, keep talking. THAT’LL get you out of it.[7]

You DO know that “Pumped Up Kicks” is a catchy Columbine-type track, right?

I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts…there they are just standing in a row…

Note to self: Be thankful your kids look like you. And not ugly.


[1] “I’m in a glass case of emotion!!!!!” “News team, assemble!!!” “I love lamp!”

[2] After you hear it so much…what can I say…J

[3] Example: I am so tired today. Then aloud say, hashtag (ie #) truth, hashtag so beat. Everyone will love you,

[4] Hashtag for realz!

[5] Michael Jackson reference. Too soooooooon??

[6] Just so you know, this will be an on going theme in these posts.

[7] Bold italics mean sarcasm.

Thoughts, Questions and Musings

…Well it has been quite some time since my last post. Life this summer made me really reevaluate what I should write about. So I’ve decide to simply write out what my mind (and Becca as my sound board) literally goes through  throughout a given week. I wish I was like some bloggers/tweeters/writers who only and always spoke about spiritual matters. And by spiritual I mean, it’s always a sermon/leadership line/book quote, etc. I’m just not that guy…simply because I don’t find it realistic. So, here’s a glimpse of what my brain chugs out, along with FOOTNOTES* (I am so excited about footnotes) to explain a bit more of where I am coming from. I’ve written out a bunch and will post a new one every week or so. Some are smart, snappy and yes spiritual in word form. Others are random but no less spiritual. Read on if you like…

Chase

…also, after next week’s (or so…) post, I will no longer be promoting this blog on Twitter or Facebook. Knowing that it charts readers kills my self-esteem (great post: lots of reads. Not many reads: Fetal postion.) I’d rather not know anymore.

* I’m still learning the BEST way to use footnotes here. Right now it’s copy and paste from Microsoft Word. Sadly it means that you can’t click on the [1] to get to the footnote (meaning you’ll have to scroll). I’ll get that fixed for next weeks. Cheers.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Nickelback is the worst band in the world. Period.

If your kid says, “You can play for five more minutes, right?”, you always can.[1]

When life is at its worst, your true friends graduate to family.

Laughing is a great exercise that you need to do more of.

The Bible without prayer is a book. The Bible with prayer is food.

More people need to watch toddlers and tiaras. Then mail TLC and complain that they are promoting child labour.[2]

Question: are hoarders just people who are really bad at selling things on EBay?

Saying “TOO SOOOOON?” is always appropriate and will ALWAYS BE FUNNY.[3]

Drake’s voice is annoying. He needs Sinutab.[4]

People have Tom Cruise all wrong. He is a scientologist because he’s short. Sheesh.

Purple Rain would be scary if it really happened. For real.

In some countries, Tebowing is a crime. In others, it’s simply taking a knee.

Fist pumping is never appropriate at a funeral.

Who really let the dogs out? Cause most people are scared of dogs that are simply running without leeshes. So the person who let them out should be jailed.

A failure of any kind (emotional, moral, physical, etc) always stems from a spiritual failure.

When your wife gives you the look, drop everything and anything and go.[5]

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A day’s worth. That’s my guess.

Hipsters are secretly not cool to themselves. And openly not cool to everyone else.[6]

If you are ever on Maury, your life took a real dark turn.

Thought: What if everyone knew Clark Kent was Superman but didn’t want to hurt his self-worth and his “identity issues” so they went along with the “Who CLARK? No way…” thing just because?

Accountability after the fact is confession.[7]

Learned lesson from season 8 of The Office: never overstay your welcome.

I plan to punish my son when he’s older not through timeouts but through repeated views of Transformers 3.[8]

If someone asks you “who do you think you are?” just stare at them until they give you an answer. Then promptly disagree.

Most of these thoughts will date themselves soon. One thing will remain the same: Nickelback will be the benchmark or mediocrity. Forever.[9]

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________


[1] Being late for something because you were playing with your kids is always worth it. You have to go back home to your family, not your meeting. Just saying.
[2] Why a parent would get fake teeth for a kid is astounding.
[3] Example: “It’s a shame people don’t use Windows XP anymore.” Right then drop a “Too Sooooooon” and lift your right hand up. If you don’t get a high five within 5 seconds, your friends need to become your EX-friends.
[4] Remember when he was Jimmy on Degrassi? Remember the ORIGINAL Degrassi? That show made getting home after school before 4:30 PM worth it. That and Mighty Morphing Power Rangers. Truth.
[5] I’m not kidding. Life with kids makes LIFE challenging…so when the look is in the eyes, make your move.
[6] How low can your V-Neck goooooo?
[7] Not that confession isn’t good. But how much less things would we need to confess if we were accountable before we did anything…think on it.
[8] What are some other horrible movies that I can use here? I’m also thinking the Left Behind movie. That was so horrible it was Hor-RA-ble.
[9] Come on history, prove me wrong. Tell me you won’t cringe in 2036 when you here “This is How You Remind Me” or “Rockstar” on the AM Torture and Oldies station.